So my new vocation is Painter/Decorator.
B&Q must be happy with the frequent visits. Well maybe not, as mostly visits are to return and refund colours provided by a rather expensive Dulux that doesn't quite happen to meet expectations.
So it's me and the Madre ready to take on the kitchen.
Fill the holes.
Sand the walls.
Mask the areas where paint need not reach, and then tackle the job at hand.
White for the ceiling, blue for the walls.
Madre decides to repaint the wooden window ledges. Advised her not to buy that ugly brown wood varnish. Ugly brown wood varnish drips over the recently painted lovely Dulux blue.
Madre apologises. I grin and wave a hand. Ain't nothing but a thing. (Grinning and waving is the new in thing don't you know? It waves away a mistake, and covers a multitude of exasperation).
Mask the botched wood paint job and repaint the blue back to it's original state.
One side of the kitchen wall is white. May look better in blue.
"No", says Madre.
"Yes" says I.
Two hours drying time later, Madre thinks it was better off white.
I stand back.
I grin and I wave.
I repaint over the blue with white, back to it's original state.
We stand back and reflect, stretch and yawn.
What a hard days work!
I peer. Madre peers.
OK. So nothing has actually been accomplished after 8 hours work. The kitchen looks exactly how it did before we decided to ambush. Like, hello?
Though weeping shall last for the night. Joy comes in the morning.
Hallelujah and Amen to that.