Fairytales

Once upon a time in a land far away, there was a little girl called Gina who lived in a castle in the sky. This little girl always held a slightly different perspective.

Genie in a bottle, a magic carpet ride, Cinderella, Jack and the Beanstalk, Beauty and the Beast, and Rapunzel to name a few.

These were all the recipes of make believe in a world were anything goes. This included a little curious boy named Jack climbing a beanstalk and a woman with hair long enough to throw out of a castle window to meet the very prince her wishes hoped would come and take her out of captivity.

In Gina's world, things were certainly a little different.

The beautiful locked maiden (who was actually from Brazil) stuck at the top of the castle was still in captivity and her big bad step father chopped off all her hair at her audacious efforts to escape. Her suitor gathered her hair and chose to sell it in an Afro-Caribbean shop for those less fortunate in the head department. He heard Brazilian hair was all the rage. He secured a sizeable income and set a much sought after trend world wide.

The Magic Carpet Rider was having the time of his life. He met with the Wicked Witch of The West on her broom who challenged him to a race which she named 'Fastest Household Accessories First'. The Wicked Witch along her way spotted a speck of dust on the ground and couldn't resist having to sweep it up. The Magic Carpet Rider having thought he won was caught in a whirlwind. His carpet fell from beneath him and he was met by an Air Traffic Controller to issue him a ticket for speeding.

Cinderella's forgotten glass slipper was certainly found by her suitor, but the other remaining glass slipper fell off in her rush to escape. She stepped on a shard of glass and cut her self on the foot. Doctors diagnosed an infection only curable by amputation.

The curious lad named Jack climbing a beanstalk spotted a rainbow from afar off which appealed to him more than the beanstalk and so he set off to find a pot of gold. Alas to him, only to find at the end of the rainbow, instead of a pile of ingots, a giant that cried 'fe fi fo fum!'. The Ogre was tall enough to see where Jack was headed and raced after him. Lets just say, that at the end of the chase the giant was well equipped to supply a bbq meal for himself and his fellow very hungry associates.

The Beast who fell in love with Beauty was actually very handsome to some. Many a few fair headed maidens made advances at him. Beast decided Beauty wasn't good enough for him and he ran off to Liberia with a Supermodel called Naomi. She had no idea that Liberia even existed, but she followed him none the least.

Little Red Riding Hood took a liking to the wolf in dangerous pursuit. He boasted a 1950's Harley Davidson. She happily obliged the ride with him as they set off into the sunset, his fangs glistening with glee.

The Gingerbread man ended up eating his maker. His maker forgot that he had added a special a ingredient that he would only divulge as being 'irresistible'.

Goldilocks was slender at first, but became quite butch in her appearance. After all the porridge stealing, she grew to be a very large girl. She roared at Papa bear who trembled in his boots and ran off with the three little bears leaving Goldilocks to grow as large as she desired from as much porridge and honey as she could eat.

A Princess kissed her Prince as they sailed off on their honeymoon. When he curiously asked her how it was so that she could feel the pea underneath 20 bed mattresses, she replied how silly he was to think that anybody could be sensitive enough to feel a pea underneath so much padding. She disclosed she was indeed the daughter of a pauper and had overheard the plans of the King to find a suitable maiden fro his son when he came to buy bed mattresses from her pauper father. She simply decided to match the prerequisite. The Prince totally disgusted, threw her overboard and nibbled on his pea salad.

So much for fairy tales Gina sighed as she stepped down from her castle and landed onto earth with a bump.

The End.